Zelensky’s ‘Ukraine of Dreams’: Still Sleeping?

Source: Author’s Facebook page

Look what I found. I opened the election program of presidential candidate Volodymyr Zelenskyy—and it turns out it’s not a program at all. It’s ‘Netflix: Ukraine of Dreams,’ season one: beautifully produced, highly motivating, and full of ‘let’s start right now’ energy.

There is a version of Ukraine where the only fireworks are set off at weddings and birthdays.
I don’t know about you, but I’d like to clarify: so what exactly is it that keeps exploding in our cities? Another “celebration of democracy”? Because yes, there are fireworks—just missing the music and cake that are supposed to come with them.

Next on the program:
Business registration—in one hour.
A passport in fifteen minutes.
Voting—in one click online.

One could argue that the only thing Zelenskyy did not exaggerate was his ability to drag out internal party elections until the outcome suited him.

The idea of advertising ‘jobs in Ukraine’ in Poland particularly moved me—if only because reality tells a very different story. For the record: yes, these ads are in Poland—though the reality is quite another matter.  They’re just a bit different. And people have left—and are still leaving.  It’s simply that now it’s no longer called “earning money abroad,” but “survival with elements of European integration.”

And the idea of a young family choosing between a city flat and a house in the countryside is a masterpiece in itself. In today’s Ukraine, a young family chooses between no electricity or heat for their children and holding on to their sanity. For young families, the choice is stark: remain in Ukraine or leave to give their child normal living conditions

And then there’s this line: “Corrupt officials will receive real prison terms.”
Where exactly? On the Israeli coast? Have they returned to legal practice, like Yermak? Are they still living their best lives, like Halushchenko? Or permanently abroad, like Umerov?

And I especially like this one: “The untouchables are the Carpathian forests, not the MPs.”
Very touching.
In our version of reality, the untouchables are the deputies, not the forests.

And for dessert: “There are roads, and there are no fools.”
Roads? Maybe some exist somewhere—the Russians seem to be using them to drive tanks into Ukraine.
As for fools, they’re still here. It’s just that now, fools are considered those who dare to remember the promises made to them. Because the country’s main rule today is simple: if you want to remain “reasonable,” forget everything you were told in 2019.

But that’s not even the funniest part.
The funniest part is that this program is written as if reality had already signed a contract with us. As if someone had decided, “Let’s do this properly.”

In real life, however, “Ukraine of Dreams” exists only as a PDF file—and in the memories of those who believed in it back then.

So if someone suddenly asks why there are so many nervous breakdowns, the answer is simple.
Because we were promised a country where you could get a passport in fifteen minutes.

And in reality, in fifteen minutes, they deliver only one thing consistently:
a brand-new excuse for why it didn’t work out again.

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