Witkoff and Cheburek: Russian Media’s Gourmet Take on Trump’s Special Envoy — Serving Spin with a Side of Stereotypes

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The cargo cult of the aborigines, as it is: before sullying himself with the tsar, Witkoff should have at least visited their restaurant and tried a cheburek—a strangely absurd item on the menu. Yet, a wave of almost fanatical enthusiasm has swept through the Russian media and shows no signs of fading.

They found a restaurant, discovered that enormous cheburek, interviewed the chef, reprinted the recipe, and now everyone will be eating “the same cheburek as Witkoff” on camera.

I just hope it’s not the same cheburek that Witkoff himself couldn’t finish. Although the Russians might say, “And it smells so bad! All in true Russian tradition… Witkoff flew away, but the trail remains! And that trail will linger in our studio from, uh, cheburek.” This last comment makes one suspect it is the same cheburek—and it’s already starting to stink badly…

By the way, the phrase “traditional Russian cheburek” is an even bigger oxymoron than “traditional Russian matryoshka,” “pelmeni,” “balalaika,” or “samovar.”

Typically, their reaction boils down to: “The white massa came, and he was so kind he ate our food!” This happened before with Kanye West and many others. Somehow, it doesn’t quite fit with the image of “great and highly spiritual Russian culture” — ballet, literature, and all that — but it doesn’t cause them any cognitive dissonance.

Incidentally, at the “restaurant,” this “Le grand cheburek” was served to Witkoff with gloves, so he wouldn’t get his hands messy if he ate it by hand. Meanwhile, the host of “Moscow 24” picked at it on camera with a long manicure, commenting on the “exclusive minced meat from exclusive Moscow rats.”

As a reminder, on August 6, US President’s special representative Steve Witkoff arrived in Russia, where he held talks with Kremlin dictator Vladimir Putin. Russian propagandists write that the meeting was also attended by the dictator’s assistant, Yuri Ushakov, who is known to be a member of the negotiating team between Russia and the United States.

It is noted that the conversation lasted almost three hours. Ushakov called the talks“useful and constructive”. According to him, Russia sent a signal to the Americans on the Ukrainian issue and received corresponding signals from the United States. The Kremlin also says that Witkoff and Putin talked about the prospects for possible strategic cooperation.

It should be noted that before talking to Putin, Witkoff had breakfast with a large cheburek called “La Grande cheburek.” Russian propagandists were quick to present this moment as a symbolic victory: they say, even an American diplomat could not resist “Russian cuisine.” In addition, Russian media tried to turn a simple food order into an act of “recognition” of Russia.

Meanwhile, the Polish publication ONET learned that during the negotiations, Steve Witkoff offered Putin to maintain control over the occupied territories of Ukraine for 99 years, and that a truce, not peace, would be concluded between the parties to the conflict.

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